Blog
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
I started writing something here. But then I ran into too many spelling mistakes. It just frustrates me too much.
But I TRIED, ok?
It wasn't like it was anything important. Except that I HAVE been hired for a job.
Carry on.
Posted by Sara @ 09:30 PM CST [Link]
Friday, April 25, 2008
I had an interview today for a job at a gas station/convenience that they're building about 5 minutes from my house. I guess it went ok, I took & passed their stupid little computer test (math questions & such) & had to drive out to this 'medical center' place to take a required drug test.
It actually pays $10 a hour & would give me a full time shift, but I'm not too thrilled about it..I'm quite a whiney bitch.
It's just..fast-placed, customers coming in & out. Now, based on what the manager person was telling me, I might end up with a night shift which really should be less busy, but still.. I'm just worried that I wouldn't pick up on stuff fast enough. Hell, I don't even know how to make coffee-I don't DRINK coffee..
such is life.
Posted by Sara @ 03:03 PM CST [Link]
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
I would like to quote & 2nd the words of someone from the Agony Booth forum
"the word "emo" needs to die a quick death."
Firstly it sounds stupid, secondly people too often use that term when refering to a 'goths'.
Researching on wikipedia,
which according to the all knowing & wise 'Michael Scott' of The Office (Us version) fame is "The best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information."
They defend a 'emo' as:
"being emotional, sensitive, shy, introverted, or angsty." & fashion-wise:
"tight jeans on males and females alike, long fringe (bangs) brushed to one side of the face or over one or both eyes, dyed black, straight hair, tight t-shirts (sometimes with short-sleves) which often bear the names of rock bands (or other designed shirts), studded belts, belt buckles, canvas sneakers or skate shoes or other black shoes (often old and beaten up) and thick, black horn-rimmed glasses."Whatever the case, I bet you my Invader Zim box set that a goth could kick a emo's ass.
One of those GOOD goths, I mean..The ones that don't take themselves too serioulsy & naturally embrace the dark side of the force.
Where was I going with this..?
'Night folks.
Posted by Sara @ 11:37 PM CST [Link]
My shunning appears to be over.
Baby still hasn't given birth. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it, but I'm afraid that she may not know or be able to take care of her kittens. In our old chicken shed, where she seems to sleep, I've set up a cardboard box with old PJ bottoms inside, for her to have them in. It's just the fact that she came onto our farm as a kitten, I wonder much she would know about being a mother if she wasn't around her own for too long.
Nothing from the theater. I'm trying to remember..so far I've applied at the following places since quiting Blockbuster:
Spencer's Gifts (had interview)
Wet Seals (worked briefly)
Suncoast Video
Hot Topic
Dollar Store
2 Grocery store locations
Hollywood Video (now closed)
AMC theaters
Cinema Center (had interview)
Another clothing store, who's name escapes me...
Toys R UsWhere else..feel like I've forgotten something..
Idontknow. I think the biggest problem is that I'm limited to places I actually know how to get to. (which isn't much because I'm afraid of driving anywhere I'm not familer with) And some places have certain dress codes..By which I mean, they dress fancy. Not fancy-fancy..But proper, the employees at Sears wear blouses & dress pants. I do not own such items. Buying them would set me back a good amount of cash & wearing these items would make me feel very uncomfortable.I'm such a picky bastard..
There seemed to be more I could report or discuss but this is enough.
Posted by Sara @ 09:07 PM CST [Link]
Monday, April 21, 2008
I had to disable comment since I'm getting via them once again.
I made the mistake of being downstairs to feed the cats, while my dad was there. He yelled at me saying something to the nature..What can I remember?
"I think it's pretty disrespectful to keep the fact that that cat was a female from."
I responded, saying the truth which was that "Mom told me to."
So he then yelled at me to get a "Full time job." "Not a part time job, a FULL time one!"Gee, never thought of THAT before..
So I'm in hiding today. Up here. In my room.
Tomorrow I will go out...Haven't gotten a clue where.
Posted by Sara @ 07:29 AM CST [Link]
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I'm back hope today..er Unfortunely.
I had a good time yesturday through. My uncle picked up me, we all went to the flea market, this placed called 'Outdoors World' (it's basically supplies for hunting, but has alot to see & participate in like some shooting games & rock climbing), walked though the mall connect to that.
Then later I played & tried to keep order with the kids that had showed up. We were using this dance mat (you follow your feet to the parts that light up) along with the Alvin & Chipmunk CD that came with the movie I got her. And we watched that movie for awhile, til the sugar & caffine kicked in again. Didn't end up eating til almost 9pm there, so alcourse I spend that night.
Which I did leave a message to my parents about, asking them nicely to feed that cats in the morning.
And, for whatever reason, I knew staying over longer would piss them off somehow. So far I'm not sure what measure that is extactly. There was actually a cake for me & an unsigned (? - what does that mean?) & a $5 scratch-off ticket. But (fortunely?) no one to be found.
A few minutes later, I went out to feed my kitten her evening meal & saw my dad outside. Said "Hi." which he simply replied with an indifferent "Hi Sara." On my way back inside, I tried asking him if I had any mail from yesturday (I should have ATLEAST an 'Entertainment Weekly' magazine & a Blockbuster online DVD since I got a free month of that), but he just said it would be in the kitchen. I really wouldn't put it past my mom to throw away my mail, I really wouldn't.
Just like I now know she deleted messages on the answering machine that my uncle tried to leave on Friday.
My aunt & my uncle have talked about my parents so much yesturday & today..Just their whole situation with me. And some encouraging words about how I can do anything with my life & such..
Oh I don't even wanna think about that again today. This day is bad enough. It's just an awful hateful day. That's what I kept feeling as I we were getting closer & closer to my house, just simple loathing from these people that..
No, let's not get into it. I wouldn't even leave this room today if I didn't have to go downstairs to find something to eat soon.
But here's one bright spot, look what the very SWEET Clarrisa made for me! Those are just..such a nice surprise to see, after getting home in this dreadful house & going though my daily (or when I'm online all day - every other hour) visits. The thing that's bad is I'm afraid that the drawings I sent in the mail, for her & Vega, aren't gonna show up. It's been nearly two weeks & I'm worried that I must have filled out the address incorrectly.
Oh, I really gotta eat. Gotta run downstairs.
*editing more into entry*
Ok...lol..No, it's not quite a 'laugh-out-loud' thing, but this is just sorta sad enough to be funny to me.
My parents are gambling addicts, as I may have mentioned before. Nothing that serious. Just to the point where they will buy scratch-off lottery tickets most times they go to the a store & will visit a casino atleast once a month...Anyways, the point is:My mom keeps the scratch off tickets inwhich she has won something stuck to the refridgerater. And wouldn't you know it, there were several 'BIRTHDAY-THEMED' ones stuck there. Meaning alcorse, that they had orignally purchased me atleast several more $5 scratch-off lottery tickets as a birthday present, but (most likely) upon hearing that I was staying overnight at the house of relatives they presently hated, decided I didn't deserve that & scratched all but one off themselves.
It's...I don't know how to explain their behavior.
Posted by Sara @ 02:50 PM CST [Link]
Friday, April 18, 2008
STRESSED
6:55pm. Still no word from the theater.
I made the mistake of asking my mom for the items she was suppose to give to my cousin (a Twister game, sweatshirt & some money in a card), she now has decided not to give anything to her niece, & so began another rant about my aunt & uncle.
She angrily brought up that my uncle didn't call (the home phone) about picking me up. I (again, mistakenly) informed her I called HIM up to arrange such details. Which led her onto a rant that I was focusing too much her 'Birthday party' on not on getting a job.
This is not true. And it did upset me enough that I did talk back alittle..Not that much, because my parents scare me, but just enough to leave her on a rampage to find my dad & bitch to him after I went back up to the safey of upstairs.
So they were down there badmouthing my aunt & uncle for awhile (because my mom now hates them again & my dad will follow my mom's lead to not upset her).
And here we are again. I will now have to sneak around to see both my sister & my aunt, uncle & cousin once again. Ironically, I remember things had just become patched up between them just BEFORE my cousin's LAST birthday..It just goes around in circles.
It could be worse, I know. Things could be a hell of alot worse. But believe me when I say that these things just kill me inside. I've seen my mom's insanities far too many times by now. And it's a pattern. My aunt told me their parerents were the same extact way. And keeps going on & on & I know it will get to the point where they will kick me out.
I try to stay out of their way, I really do! They need not pretend I'm here. I should be working, I know, no one's hiring me, so I stay up here most of the day.
There's no way to get out of here. No way I can see anyways.
Posted by Sara @ 07:10 PM CST [Link]
I'm in the mood that I really don't know what to do next..Hence, one of the reasons why I do not want to move from infront of this computer.
I'm still waiting on a callback from the movie theater.
In awhile I really should call up my uncle & ask about a time for him to pick me up tomorrow. He will probably mention about coming over TONIGHT. Which I half want to do..If only I wasn't waiting on that call. And it's hard to sleep there.
I worry if I got enough presents for my cousin or if she will think sidewalk calk/paint is too babyish.
Had some dreams last night..Which appearently got my caught up on dreams I had been having previously. Seems I've been pregnant, or in the early stages of such, in these dreams. I was thinking of getting an abortion, which really seemed like such a hassel to me. (Although to me, doing ANYTHING is a hassel) One interesting part, there was a guy who could annalize (I'm very sorry, but I'm not in the mood to look up how to spell words right now) handwritting & said he knew I was pregnant from viewing my words. That may have been the point in the dream where I realised 'Wait, that's not how graphology WORKS! & woke up out of the dream. And for one of the few times in my life, was relieved to remember I was presently on my mensural cyle.
Okay, now that any male that might have been reading this, has cleared out. Let's have some GIRL CHAT! Don't ya think that Josh is CUTE? wHAT?!? no WAY!!!! OMGGOSH!!!!
If I ever get rich or have several hundred dollars to spend on something small & purty that does absolutely NOTHING but look purty, I will aquire atleast 2 dollfies off of ebay. I don't need them nor should I have them, but damnit they are SO PRETTY! Pretty...everyone likes pretty things! Except those living beings that can be pretty without an once of effort on their part. And I'm sure they look at the UGLY people & think they simply aren't trying hard enough to be pretty.
Where was I going with this?..Oh. SEND ME MONEY! 'Cause I need to buy new toys.
Eh, buh bye.Posted by Sara @ 12:59 PM CST [Link]
Thursday, April 17, 2008
How is NOT taking anyway someone's pregnant cat considered a birthday gift?
Well my mom thinks so anyways. And called up to my room, telling me that my dad finally figured out that my kitten 'Baby' was pregnant (we had previously thought she was a male, so hence had let my dad believe it was such.) & was threatening to take her & 'Midnight' (our other stray, who my mom wants taken away now that he beat up my other cat 'Freddy') away.
And by 'away'. I don't mean to a pound or something. For years, unknown to me - cause I was a stupid kid, my parent's method of getting rid of kittens (from our unfixed female cats we had over the years - in my defence, MINE I got when I was 2 & by the time I actually had money to have the surgery done for her it might had killed my cat) or strays that start beating up our own cats is to catch them & drive them off to some farm &/or area with other cats. Although he could very well have been dropping these cats off in the middle of nowhere & letting them starve or get run over..It's sad, but it's probably the truth.
So my mom, telling my dad not to do this, is her birthday present to me, she says. Oh & I don't have to pay rent for next month.
'Cause the best gifts you can give is the ones that involve you doing absolutely nothin'.
Bitter? yes. I'm allowed that atleast once a year, damnit.
But there's new Smallville & Office tonight. So that's good.
In other news, my TV is finally dying off. It's been making funny sounds for awhile, which are easy enough to ignore, but now the picture started to become messed up as well.
I need to find out about that whole 'digital tuner' business that shall be required for tvs very soon.
HUMBUG!
If it were up to me, I'd stop all new techonogly. Break every blue-ray disc & bring back the VHS format.Which brings me to this Quote of the Day:
Bart: [in the barber shop, getting a free shave for his birthday] Digital audio tape, my butt! When I was a kid, we had compact disks, and I don't recall no one complaining.
Barber: Damn right.Damn RIGHT indeed! And I want free crap for my birthday too, damnit!
Bye.
Posted by Sara @ 04:24 PM CST [Link]
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Stupid drama.
My mom's going off into one of her screaming rants. This one involves my uncle again. She appearently caught him & my parent's friend/my uncle's ex-brother in law 'Ed' smoking pot out in our barn. Ed has appearently told them my uncle had sold it to him & was selling it around & such. I haven't gotten to hear my aunt's side of the story...Her phone's busy.
It's probably true anyways. Hell my uncle DID sell drugs in the past, he's been in jail several times, he's stolen, ect. ect. We all know this.
Hell my mom, in the middle of her rant to me, said she smoked pot a couple of times. I've FOUND pot in a jewery box before (in the middle of some of my snooping of my parent's probably while they were away...What? Everyone has bad habits, this is one of mine.) which is no longer there so..Pot, kettle.
I frankly don't care either way. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I don't think highly of any of the activities, but if anyone else wants to live that way, it's their life.
No, frankly right now I want nothing more in the world then to go to my aunt & uncle's house, see my cousin on her birthday & to watch her open her presents.
Shall see if that will happen.
Btw, I left my interview with notice that I would receive information on my first day of work & things required for my hiring later that evening. That did not happen, but I had the cordless phone up in my room for several hours which (unknowingly to me) might have disabled it. The 'hiring manager' does not work til Friday, so hopefully I'll have my answer then.
*talked to my aunt*
Ok, according to her, my uncle is NOT selling drugs. My mom told me that she aunt said that she knew 'he was' doing this.
EH...Just all messed up. Sorry can't type..or clearly come up with words.I hate 'Ed' btw. My parents convinced him to stay the night at our house a few days back. I could not come downstairs, because everytime I did I would hear degrading comments from him, backed up by my parents. (If you're drunk & in the mood to gossip/badmouth people, the umployeed loser daughter who still lives at home is an awful good target.)
Also, appearently (this is what I heard from my aunt) my dad offered 'Ed' $50 to find me a boyfriend (most likely to move in with). And (from what I've heard from my sister) he wants my aunt & uncle to actually let me move in with THEM.Sooooo...no one really wants me around. Save for my mom. When she's pissed off at my aunt or dad, I'm the only one she can rant to.
Back to my cousin's bday party. At first my mother was okay with them picking me up for this, as she wants nothing to do with them presently. A few minutes ago, she comes knocking on my door, saying how she doesn't want me to go, the police will bust the place, I'll be arrested..Really ridiculous stuff, I'm shaking my head while typing this.
Once she gets around to screaming at my dad, she might convince HIM to forbid ME to go there. That hasn't happened yet, but I'm afraid it might go there.
This brings me to a Quote of the Day
Charlie Brown: ""Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice inside of me says, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"Used before but still good. I have let my life become much too screwed up. Not really such much, the 'depression/obsession/lack of interacting with people' part, but just not having a stable career, enough money to live on my own or the simpliest knowedge about automobles.
Soon enough it'd get to the point where I'll move in with my aunt & uncle or frustrated enough with myself that I'll end up hanging myself with a belt. But then it could just go on like it's been going on..Idontknow.
I just need a big change or event to change the course of my life. A kick in the pants, really.
See ya.
Posted by Sara @ 06:36 PM CST [Link]
Monday, April 14, 2008
Haven't felt like speaking for awhile. It's still feels rather pointless to type stuff, when I get to this empty greymatter entry screen.
I actually have an job interview tomorrow! Movie theater. Surprised, because the when I asked for an application, the lady informed me they weren't hiring. Shall see how that goes..
I saw my pregnant sister & her husband on Friday. They gave me a birthday present (some bubblebath/lotion junk & a check), we went out for lunch & they drove all the way down to City Island in Harrisburg for us to play mini-golf. It was a rare busy day for me.
Also considering that before meeting up with them, I was driving around & my car started acting up (vibrating; check engine light). Forcing me to stop at the closest location (fortunely - the theater inwhich I have the interview for) & call them up to change our meeting place. With over 2 hours to kill, I saw a movie. And being ME, it choose 'Superhero Movie' which wasn't bad at ALL actually. I mean, it atleast wasn't filled with endless dated pop culture references like the movie recent spoofs.
Car's being fixed now..or over the next few days.
My cousin now will be having a small birthday party on Saturday. She actually wrote down her birthday 'wish list' that she wanted me to sleep over for 3 days. Which I would LIKE TO this upcoming weekend. But between the my car & potental work I'm not sure it can happen.
Then there's my damn birthday on Sunday..
If I get hired I would atleast use that as an excuse to buy myself some junk.
Anyways..carry on.
Posted by Sara @ 04:23 PM CST [Link]
Another day, another fairy drawing:
Posted by Sara @ 09:53 AM CST [Link]
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Drawing: Shameful Fairy
Posted by Sara @ 06:44 PM CST [Link]
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Drawing: Mermaid
I'm actually happy with her face. The last few drawings I've always had trouble with their expressions & their eyes.
Posted by Sara @ 10:21 PM CST [Link]
Friday, April 4, 2008
New video:
Yes, I had to make atleast one for Sweeney Todd. Upon watching it again on DVD, I'm really starting to love it. I had rented the 1982 musical to view the differences, but was surprised to see how much they stuck to the materal. Alcourse everything was 'gothed-up' or 'Burton-ized' as I like to call it. And most are abit more subtle. Although listening to it on tv, compared to a booming theater, I now see why people citicized Helena Bonham Carter, she is not much of a singer. But she looks right for the part - her eyes are like cartoon Beetlejuice's.
And I love how in her fantasy of her & Todd, he still looks miserable as hell in every shot.
The recession/depression in America seems to be 'coming. Times like this I'm thankful to be living at home. Does this mean practically ALL jobs are taken? I don't have a chance? I have enough money to last me awhile. Hell, I'm living at home, worse comes to worse - I go through my savings, I can try to get them to add up my rent for a sum I will pay when I'm employeed. But it shouldn't get to that.
Speaking of which, money-matters anyways, my birthday is..Jeeze, about 2 weeks away. Goddamn it.
Usually I like to go shopping on that day, maybe not this year. Unless someone gives me some cash, that is. Last year I got tires..*grumbles* But my sister got me a cellular phone (which I still haven't gotten in the habit of turning on half the time), very nice of her. Then my aunt/uncle said they would eventually give me something later..which they never did. *grumbles*Likewise, I gotta find out what my cousin wants for her birthday. Unfortunely it seems she won't have a party I can go to. :( Last I heard from my uncle, they are gonna take her & a few friends to a amusement park out of state. *grumbles* Yes, I'm bitter..I like my cousin's bday parties. I LIKE playing & giving kids fake tattoos with Halloween makeup.."I don't wanna grow up..I'm a Toys R Us kid.."
Eh, sorry..getting too weird there.
Quote of the day:
forum post #1: (on the topic of parents staying together for their kids)
"My parents stayed together for 25 years. They got divorced when I was 15 and I wish my mom would have left sooner. Maybe things wouldn't have turned out the way they did. Maybe my father wouldn't have destroyed her to the point where she couldn't live with herself anymore, maybe she wouldn't have killed herself."
forum post #2: "...awkward...."Posted by Sara @ 08:22 AM CST [Link]
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Draw another angel & fairy:
Posted by Sara @ 02:41 PM CST [Link]
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Hello again,
I got my Sweeney Todd DVD & found a Zantana action figure (she has real fishnets on!) at half price. The movie is just the one disc version, since those damn Tim Burton dvds aren't much for extras, even the special editions.Oh & I rented 10th Kingdom & Teen Wolf (I've never seen it before. Can you believe that?) at the library.
Beyond that, I have nothing else of interest to report.
Posted by Sara @ 02:05 PM CST [Link]
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Hey there, just swinging by to say 'Hi.'
I believe there have been some stuff happening since we last spook..But most of it seemed to have reset itself, so It's not worth mentioning..Actually I'm sorry I brought it up. Let's discuss something else.This will disturb you:
This is just a short trailer I made, The Scranton Witch Project: Curse of the Overkill Killer:
I should have made it longer, but I just wanted to finish it quick.
Weather is getting nicer here in Pennslyvania. Spring is 'coming & all that jazz.
I've rescued a barbie doll recently. I won't give all the details for fear that someone actually might be reading this. I'll just say that she was uncared for, left in a slightly open box among heaps of neglected unplayed with toys. So I took her, because she would not be missed & needed some attention.
Now she's happily sitting with my one customized Ken doll & a fairy barbie my cousin gave me.
I'll go out tomorrow. Get movies at the library.
"Can you drive me down to the library. I wanna rent us some movies." - Simpsons
Groceries..Use coupon to get myself a sub. I don't know what else. Maybe wander around the mall briefly. I don't know where to look for employment & don't wish to buy things with no income. Although I do really wanna get a copy of Sweeney Todd (to stare at Johnny Depp if nothing else) & Married with Children - 8th season.I feel I've lingered here long enough.
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